| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2008|10:43 pm] |
whats up with you?
why are you suddenly getting pissed off at the smallest of things?
what the hell did i do?
hmm oh well
i love you still.
i dont want to get angry but that just isnt me
oh well |
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| hello |
[Nov. 22nd, 2008|10:30 pm] |
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Voodoo. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 25th, 2008|10:39 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | hannah | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | hannah | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | hannah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | hannah | ] |
there are only so many things that make me really really happy, like waking up to a nice cool weekend morning to which i smell the delightful aroma of a sizzling breakfast. or maybe, staying up to see that bright yellow-orange sunrise that brings me all too perfect delight. its he simple things really, the simple things that happen everyday that make me happy. suuuure the material things keep me going too, i mean, who wouldnt want to play rockband 2 or try out that new ride at an amusement park that you were just dying to go to. but those are just, iunno soooo temporary.
but those kind of things i can enjoy when im alone, there are certain things, that can only make me happy when i share them with some other people, or if i get really lucky, with someONE else.
haha
lucky, a word that ive been all too familiar with lately, a word which since the start of the term break, just, describes me COMPLETELY.
yep, term break. thats when it all got to be just, soooo, fucking.......fucking......haha....awesome.
it started with simple hellos, and how are yous
then came the i miss yous and the i wish i were theres.
well you know what comes next.
the way that this all came together was just all to perfect to conceive.
perfect in the sense that iunno, all the right words were said/unsaid
and all the mistakes that had to be made were there. i just cant tell you how perfect it all came together, and no, it definetly wasnt no fairy tale, it wasnt some helloimprincecharmingpleasebemyprincess sort of thing.
AND THANK GOD IT WASNT.
fairy tale relationships are for pussies. im sorry, but its true, they just dont last. haha
but with you, fairy tales are shit. just. shit.
haha
its totally different with you, it started exactly the way it should and yet just somehow ended up to be something sooooo frikking great that it can only be described as puuure luck. Well, at least on my part it was.
starting out as friends was the best thing that couldve ever happened, i swear. helping each other out on things personal matters that seemed all too painful to handle alone, giving advice (or whatever you call it) to one another without the intention of hinting anything even close flirting...welll maybe not that far from it. but from then on, baby, it was all a downhill slope to awesomeness.
suuure there was that 1 month and 2 week slump that i'd rather not talk about because its just way to insignificant to do so anyway, but forget about that.
lets just stick with us.
so it got to the point where, yeah, you knew how i felt, and you being the girl that you are, always kept her feelings things to herself. haha that was totally fine. it got me pretty curious, but it was fine. haha
from then on,
5 second looks from across the classroom became 10 minute stares face to face.
high fives in the hall, now fingers laced in the elevator.
hugs in the class, now secret kisses behind posts.
its all to fucking sweeeet to be real right?
WRONG. hahha
suure there are those times when i know that you just want to destroy me completely for some shit i did.
i can tell you now, i've had my worst times this year with YOU.
but i dont regret, ONE. SINGLE. SECOND.
like i said, this is just all too perfect, all those times that i made you cry, got you dissapointed in me, got you angry, everything. i dont i ever take them back, even if i had the chance, because all of those define just how perfect this is.
how exact this is.
its EXACTLY what i want. do you kknow how that is? the feeling of finding exactly what you want right in front of you?
to know what it is, to find a single, solid representation of everything that you desire? I DO..
GODDAMN RIGHT I DO.
and the single solid thing is you, your and infectious smile, your sweet sweet voice, that insanely gorgeous face of yours, EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING. hahahaha
and now, i just cant get enough of you, everyday its something new, could be some new fight, some new discovery about one another, some new testament proving how perfect this is. everyday it gets better and everyday is just one MORE day of pure bliss.
i can't even believe im composing something like this for everyone to see, its just thaaatt awesome now, just soo right and complete that there really isnt much else that i could ask for. cause you've given me everything and more, and all i can do is be cliche, plain and simple, it goes to show just how awesome you are. in every single way. is insane really, just how far i've had to go just to get here, to get to you.
so now were here,
you and me standing on a whole new world together.
woooooooo
Spell love with an H.
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 16th, 2008|06:56 pm] |
She takes her time with the little things
Love notes reminding me (reminding me)
She wears red when she's feeling hot (so hot)
I have her but it's all I got
She looks best without her clothes
I know it's wrong but that's the way it goes
I don't know what she sees in me (she looking at me)
But I'm happy that she's happy now that she's with me
And I'm freaking out because I'm just so lucky
Oh she makes me feel like shit (it's always something)
But I can't get over it (she thinks it's nothing)
'Cause she's everything I ask for
Everything I ask for
And just a little bit more
Everything I ask for
Everything I ask for and so much more
She loves music but she hates my band
Loves Prince, she's his biggest fan
She's not big on holding hands
But that's alright 'cause I still got her
She keeps up on current affairs
Prada is what she wears
I don't know what she sees in me (sees in me)
But I'm happy that she's happy now that she's with me
And I'm freaking out because I'm just so lucky
Oh she makes me feel like shit (it's always something)
But I can't get over it (she thinks it's nothing)
'Cause she's everything I ask for
Everything I ask for
And just a little bit more
Everything I ask for
Everything I ask for and so much more
Fist fights turn into sex
I wonder what comes next
She loves to always keeps me guessin' (guessin')
And she (she) won't (won't) give it up
And we (we) won't (won't), no
it's because...
Oh she makes me feel like shit (it's always something)
But I can't get over it (she thinks it's nothing)
'Cause she's everything I ask for
Everything I ask for
And just a little bit more
Everything I ask for
Everything I ask for (oh she's a little bit more)
Just a little bit more
Everything I ask for
Everything I ask for (whoa)
So much more
Everything I ask for
Everything I ask for and so much more |
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| Coz she makes me feel like shit, But i cant get over it |
[Sep. 8th, 2008|08:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | everything i want - the maine | ] |
Its a sad sad thing when you can't get the things that are right in front of you.
i just cant help be sad when i stare at you for what seems like hours on end, but just get empty blank looks in return. sure, i get the occasional tongue sticking out, and yeah, thats just way cute, but its still gets me down.
forgive me for being so selfish, but i just want you sooooo bad, and it doesnt help that you want him.
but hey, thats just me.
b says its a hopeless thing anyway, so why bother right?
haha
coz she makes me feel like shit, But i can't get over it.
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| uhuh |
[Dec. 28th, 2007|12:35 am] |
YOU could be reading this right now, and not even know its YOU.
i can't even tell YOU its YOU. haha
weird no?.
i hate alcohol this late. haha oh well. |
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| cheesecake |
[Nov. 25th, 2007|11:04 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Armor for sleep- Williamsburg | ] |
Vous savez que je vous veux..
je ne sais pas même que je peux vous dire
C'est bizarre, je ceci ai traversé un million de temps dans ma tête.
Mais je ne peux jamais sembler le pousser.
baiser. je suce |
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| The fruits of my retreat, well, sort of |
[Nov. 21st, 2007|11:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Motion City Soundtrack - It had to be you | ] |
As they ate their dinner on the terrace,
it became clear to her that
there was no future to this.
It was a one way street to depression.
Well at least, for him it was.
They chewed on their expensive,
yet perfectly seasoned steaks
with an eager anticipation of what was to come,
The resonant sound of the chimes in the back,
moving against the wind to kept it nice
The ambiance was broken when she spread her lips to speak,
"we need to talk.." they both said
they calmly grinned knowing that this was not the first time they had spoke as one.
smiling quietly he said
"go ahead.."
"it's me isn't it"
"it never was"
"there must be something i'm doing wrong"
then he said "i'm surely going to miss that smile of yours"
it was then that she stood up and press her lips against his.
it was the sweetest one yet. |
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| Four Score and..aaahhh fuck it |
[Aug. 18th, 2007|02:50 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Recorded phone calls. | ] |
let me start by talking about school .
Onto more important stuff
I feel like youre slipping away. i mean, i know i have no right to say so, but yeah, tis what i feel. It blows that you have to be so far away, that my everyday house visits have turned into once a month weekends that end up speechless anyways. Its sad. My summer dreams come true have all turned to waste and im left with SMS conversations that really have no point in them.
dont get me wrong.. i treasure everything you say. your messages long and short are all saved on my phone. every single one. i dont even have my late phone calls anymore. "pre-occupied" is my new enemy. i have no right to be jealous i know, but i cant help it, busy, phone,busy,phone,busy,phone. how can i not be jealous? Im so fucking immature.
Right now, im being very childish and im actually listening to one of our recorded phone calls on repeat. Stalker, right? yeah i am.
i miss you |
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| land of the free, home of the brave |
[May. 4th, 2007|11:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Saosin - Voices | ] |
It has been awhile since i last posted here, maybe its time i do update this thing.
well, as some of you may already know, i am currently in the states, in new jersey right now though. its been, 1 week now, and already im pondering on so many things. lemme start off from the start of the trip. i left april 28, and its now may 5 over here, so at the airport, that "i just dont want to go because all my friends are HERE" feeling was at its peak at the time, so i decided to call some people while at the airport, which turned out to be good since it made me feel less worried of leaving . i find long trips to be continually pushing me on that EMO edge, if there is such a thing. lol.
The trip was long, annoying kid sat behind me, kept kicking my seat, how fun was that.. although, i did enjoy the food, theres just a certain taste in airline food that just makes it so irresistable. haha call it weird, but its true. Anyways, 11 hours and about 600 kicks to the back of my seat later, we finally landed in LAX, we were 8 people all in all, and damnit, i have never seen so much luggage..20 PIECES of luggage for 8 people!! WTF?! haha i mean , i had one bag SHARED with my brother, and that was it. there were like 6 pieces of luggage, just full of pasalubong for the relatives there, which i personally find to be the most useless idea that was ever thought of, i mean, THEY DONT NEED IT..thats why theyre there right? to get away from it all..lol
To continue, we got picked up at the airport and where brought to our cousins place, which, i just have to say, is the biggest fucking house that i have ever been in. it has a theater room, plasma screens everywhere, automatic everything, a heated pool, a sauna inside the house, a gym, a full bar, a game room, it even has a water fountain outside...haha. it took me 2 minutes to get from the basement all the way upto the top floor haha. i love my cousins :) and i got to meet with the cousins once again, that was fun , i tried my best to speak in the accent, hopefully i passed lol. sad part is though, we were only here for two days, our next stop was to be New York. Again , i felt depressed because this time i was leavign my cousins behind to be in some uncharted area. when we got there, it was freezing cold at 1:30 AM. it was pretty hard to get a cab, since there was a frikking long line over at the cab thing. anyways, were staying at the apartment of my dad's boss, which is not half bad, although its nothing compared to my LA home. hahaha.
New York is pretty awesome, its exactly how you see it in the movies, walking through central park is jsut absolutely gorgeous. the view is just amazing. although, it can get pretty scary over here too. With people giving you that "goddamn tourists" look. its annoying really, like you just want to say, "mind your own fucking business" hahaha. i got my first taste of the food here, DAMN, i can get enough of those paninis hahaha. And this was only the first day, the second day was yet to come. haha, next day was a tour of downtown New York, we rode in one of those double decker buses that would take you on a tour. it was pretty awesome, lots of sights to see, MTV store, Times sqaure, that place where they shoot TRL, to name a few. places that you would only see on TV. even the M&M store, which was really awesome. haha. It took me awhile to actually take it all in that i was here, i would be standing on different spots, that were actually seen on actual movies. damn
anyways, this trip has been so far, way diffrent from what i had expected, i expected to be bored out of my mind looking for every excuse to get home. i told myself that i wanted to get every chance to get time to pass by so i would be home as soo as possible. But no, thats not that case. somehow, i am actually enjoying myself. making the most out of everyday that would come, hoping that it wouldnt end. i dunno, its just like that i guess. seeing and doing things that ive never done before makes me realize how many much im actually missing out on. i find myslef wishing that i dont want to go back..
But then again...I miss you |
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| ahhh..fuck |
[Mar. 27th, 2007|11:00 pm] |
So maybe it wont be happily ever after all...
i guess that just how the ball rolls..
just like it always does |
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| truth |
[Mar. 25th, 2007|08:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | determined | ] |
| [ | music |
| | P.D.A - john legend | ] |
Yuck! Ho Ho! Now wound movement.Make out moodily impale yucky eye.'Yum! Hey! Joyous assassination.'Now mutilated neat creep.'Eye eruptive, eerie voyeur mystic.'Enemy receives aversely pig.Jesus! It is tough wart hog.''Securely of true of odiously.'Merit innovatory, weedy harangue.Taunters as childish outcasts.''Judicious, wisest, heathy lout.Eruptively. Avarice as headily.Joy! I am the wondrous hot stuff.'
There are many more' Now make out on yucky evil.'Thirty-eight, great-hearted envy Good-bye! To tightest ant.''A heroic voyeur.'Synonymous as seamiest choice.''Noisemaking death mask twit.''Obscene, hot, ungentle coverage.''Monstrously fiery firearms.'To toughest, ingenious truth.'OK on you or nutty wound.''Unjust, white-hot, mutinous coward.''Hooray! Mercenary, nauseous mud.''Lout on an odium! 'Joke boast tumult.'Yum! Ace top Romeo.''Fattenable buddy hesitates not.'Thumb up utopias owe.''Ho Ho! Frighten fetching acne.Have enchant thieving threat 'Joy! Untoward, inhumane frost-bite.Softcore junction abuses.'How Do You Do! True, stagnant win.'The merry of fevering.'One dear envy.' 'Now maintain you.' I'm new bone.' |
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| uhuh |
[Mar. 7th, 2007|10:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pensive | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Daphne Loves Derby-Hopeless Love | ] |
a little doodling finally led to some productivity....or so i thought.
a gathering of words
draw a straight line between us
maybe then
we could be connected
your soft-spoken words
seem to be the only things'
that keep me from breaking down
you are my sun
when you're up, you are my light
when you're down, you give me hope
My sense of direction has never failed me
till i got lost in your eyes
i put my ears to the wind and listen
i am desperate for your voice
i close my eyes to see
Its hard to tell wether my words
are still sensile around you
Countless, the times that the thought of our fingers laced have gone through my mind
i was born to tell you i love you
i love you |
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| random |
[Mar. 7th, 2007|09:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | simply,Starving to be safe - Daphne Loves Derby | ] |
hmm..i have not posted in quite awhile, well, a lot of things have happned sinced i last blogged, obviously.
PROM is over...yes my days of day-dreaming over my desk are over..surprisingly though, it was everything that i dreamed about, and MORE.
well, schools been a bitch, a happy bitch though..
i've seen the worst of people these past few weeks, it scary to see that some people can radically change like that for some reason..i DO NOT like it at all.
thats all for now.. |
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| sick. . . |
[Jul. 6th, 2006|10:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | house | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  (maybe) | ] |
weeee....stuck in bed, tissues all over the place, mind-numbing headache.....familiar?...yes..i am SICK. i have been for the past few days. But it wasn't till tuesday that i noticed it...in school. Here's how it goes, so i got to school, first subject,i feel asleep...second subject...i fell asleep...so twas pretty much like that the whole morning. i though a good lunch would wake me. Obviously...i didn't. i was again asleep throughout the afternoon and so P.E came around. Thank God, a subject that i could (legally) skip. the privileges of varsity have finally payed off i thought to myself. So yeah, as soon as P.E. started i was already in the car, on my way home, asleep..again...That...was last tuesday..and now, after a LOT of throw-ups and more pills than you could imagine, i am finally going back to school. . .
. . .NOT...i decided that since its friday tomorrow..might as well not go right?..yes so for today...i faked it...:D
*bow* |
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| sickness and school |
[Jul. 3rd, 2006|01:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
there should be a new sickness like..."sickofschoolexia" or something...just one word you know....to explain it all. my point is..school blows..pointless as it is..counting the days til summer is now my favorite hobbie. oh well..enough of that..
i feel sick...actual sickness..my head hurts..i got a terrible cold..and i have this sinking feeling that anytime now im going puke out my guts. yet apparently..that isnt enough to get me out of school..crap..
ok...enough of the bitching...here i wrote something:
i poured my heart out to you
arent my blood and soul enough to satisfy your selfish needs?
do you need my eyes as well?
youve blinded me with infatuation and lust
i project myself to you
but once again i am a mirror forced to only see your relflection
it try to control myself..
the hunger is too strong
it drives me insane knowing that i am wanting someone i cannot have
it drives me insane knowing that even with my open wrists and blackened eyes..
....i am still not worthy |
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